What Fear Does to Your Mind (and You Don’t Even Notice)

A reflection from Iconoclast by Gregory Berns

This is part of the "Meller Highlights" series with reflections from my personal book highlights.

One thing I’ve been trying to do every day is to pick one idea from my reading and think about how to actually apply it.

Not just understand it in theory, but find a way to live it a little.

Today’s highlight: Iconoclast by Gregory Berns

Think of fear like alcohol. It impairs judgment.
You shouldn’t make any decisions while under its influence.

Fear and alcohol… What a powerful and uncomfortable comparison.

We all know you shouldn’t drive after drinking.

Your reactions slow down, your thinking gets cloudy, your sense of control is basically an illusion.

But we rarely think about fear in the same way.

And yet, fear can mess with our minds just as much.

When fear kicks in, our brains stop working at full capacity.

We restrict our thinking.

We overestimate risks.

We avoid obvious opportunities just because something might go wrong.

It’s easy to tell ourselves we are being rational, that we are making the "smart choice."

But if we’re honest, sometimes we are just afraid.

And making decisions while afraid is a lot like making decisions while drunk, we just don't see the full picture.

This made me reflect on a few moments in my own life when I hesitated or chose the "safe" path.

But now, looking back, I can see how fear quietly steered the wheel. Fear of failing. Fear of what others would think. Fear of losing what I already had.

And here’s the tricky part: when you are in the middle of fear, it feels real.

It feels like the truth.

That’s why it’s so dangerous.

You can’t always "think" your way out of it at the moment.

Gregory Berns’s advice is simple but powerful: Don’t make decisions while fear is active.

Pause. Step back.

Give yourself the same space you would if you had just had a drink and knew you weren’t thinking clearly.

In real life, this could be something as small as not replying to a stressful email right away.

Or not making a career move decision on the day you got bad feedback.

Or not quitting a project the first time it feels overwhelming.

Fear will pass, just like the effects of alcohol do.

And once it does, your real judgment, the clear-headed, thoughtful kind, can take over again.

So next time I feel that knot in my stomach, that rush of doubt or panic, I want to remember this: Fear is like alcohol. It distorts things.

And no good decision ever starts with a distorted view.

Have you ever seen this happen in your own experience?

I’d love to hear what you think.

This is your tip today, inspired by one of my highlights from Iconoclast by Gregory Berns

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