The Best Way to Earn Respect Is to Know What You’re Doing

A reflection from Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

Hej! It’s William!

This is part of the "Meller Highlights" series with reflections and learnings from my personal book highlights. As mentioned here, this series is now something I’m keeping special for the people who support this channel as paid subscribers.

If you’ve been following along and enjoying the ideas I share, I’d love to have you join them. Becoming a subscriber not only gives you full access, but it also helps me keep creating and going deeper with the work I do.

How do these highlights work? Every day I pick one idea from my reading and think about how to apply it in real life. Most stay as private notes, but once a week, I choose one that feels special.

That’s the one I share here, a highlight that turns into a deeper reflection on how it can change the way we do something.

Today’s highlight: Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

“The more you know, the more aware you are of what you know and what you don’t. Expertise increases self-knowledge, which includes awareness of one’s limitations. Conversely, the less you know, the less aware you are of your limitations and the more overconfident you will be.”

Let’s reflect on that…

It’s strange how the loudest people in the room often know the least... And the ones with the most to offer tend to speak more carefully. Maybe even doubt themselves a little more.

But this quote explains why. Real knowledge brings awareness. It shows you not just what you know, but also what you don’t.

That awareness creates humility. But it also creates strength, the kind that’s quiet, deep, and hard to shake.

You want to be trusted? You want to be respected? Then don’t focus on sounding smart. Focus on knowing your work so well that people feel it. Even if they can’t explain it. Even if you don’t say much.

That’s how you become unquestionable.

Not perfect. Not flashy. Just consistent. Clear. Prepared.

You don’t become hard to question by being confident. You become hard to question by doing the work. By being the one in the room who’s always ready. Who doesn’t guess when they don’t know. Who learns fast when they need to. Who isn’t afraid to say “I’ll check and get back to you” — and then actually does.

That’s what builds trust.

And let’s be honest. If you’ve ever felt underestimated, ignored, or doubted, the temptation is to prove yourself fast.

To talk louder. To look more certain. But that doesn’t last. What lasts is the person who can solve real problems and make better decisions, again and again.

That doesn’t come from pretending. It comes from knowledge. From preparation. From depth.

So maybe the way to avoid being seen as incompetent isn’t to push harder. It’s to build more quietly. To read more. To question your own thinking. To learn from people who’ve done it before. To understand your work so well that even when someone tries to question you, they end up listening.

That’s how you stop trying to prove you’re competent. And you just become it.

Have you ever had a moment when you felt underestimated, but your work changed how people saw you? Or the opposite — when someone loud and unprepared got more credit than they deserved? I’d love to hear how you handled it.

This is your daily tip, inspired by one of my highlights from Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic.

If you want to keep getting reflections like this one in your inbox, subscribe to Meller Notes.